


Woman vs. Machine

by GamblingDementor



Category: Starship - Team StarKid
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/M, Family Drama, Farm Planet, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2020-06-24 19:26:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19730251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GamblingDementor/pseuds/GamblingDementor
Summary: It took crossing the galaxy to find his wife but after getting married, Tootsie Mega-Girl decides that there is, after all, no place like home. Bringing back his dear Mega-Girl was supposed to be a wonderful homecoming filled with sunshines and rainbows flowers, but Tootsie soon learns that not everyone on Farm Planet shares his love for his robot of a wife. Mega-Girl and Tootsie Mega-Girl learn to navigate society as an interspecies couple all the while learning more about each other and how to make a home of their own. Also, yeah they're farmers now.Post-canon, slow-paced fic, lots of fluff, bit of tension, LOTS of extrapolated headcanons on Farm Planet and on Tootsie.





	1. Farm Planet

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! I'm practically almost done writing this so I'm starting to post it, I think a chapter every few days. Please tell me if you like it! I've had to invent lots of headcanons and names for the background and surrounding characters, hopefully they won't detract from the story being told which centers first and foremost on Tootsie and Mega-Girl.

Starlight was bathing Farm Planet in a warm and comfortable pale morning glow that announced a delightfully sunny day. Mega-Girl had gladly relented Tootsie Mega-Girl the window seat on the ship that would fly them home, stating that her superior ocular sensors permitted her to observe the geological and organic surface of the planet just fine from fifty-three centimeters farther than his own viewpoint. Tootsie had all too happily accepted the favor, staring out the window the entire flight across the galaxy. Stars and planets and moons out there had been beautiful, but they were nothing compared to Farm Planet. He was buzzing with the familiar joy of being home when the ship neared the only landing site of the small planet that was to be his again. Theirs.

"Oh, look at this, Mega-Girl!" He cried out, pointing excitingly. "We can see my home right there! That's where I come from!"

" _Information acknowledged_ ," Mega-Girl replied. " _My virtual map of Farm Planet has been updated accordingly._ "

He laced their arms together, their hands flat against each other. Under his palm and fingertips, he could feel the fine and subtle rumbling of her machinery working just underneath the hard steel surface. It made him feel peaceful and, despite the thrill he was feeling otherwise, very quiet.

"We gon' make a real home here, you and I," he said, leaning his head against her shoulder. "I promise."

That, he knew. Being a Starship Ranger had been an adventure, but ever more as time carried on, he had the impression that the only real purpose of his enrolling had been to cross his path with Mega-Girl's. It could only have been the late God's last blessing to them before passing. Now that their roads were one and the same, what sense was there to still meander the stars in the sky? He was fine contemplating the only star he cared about, his beloved Mega-Girl, and he knew he could see that one bright and clear from anywhere in the universe because she would never leave his side. Retiring had been as easy as signing a form. All that was left to do was now to go home and make a life with his wife.

" _The ship is approaching Farm City_ ," a voice announced through scratchy loudspeakers. " _Please remain seated until landing is fully completed. Do not panic._ "

Mega-Girl's hand in his, Tootsie Mega-Girl was furthest from panicking. He stared out in wonder as they passed through some light clouds and his neck twisted as he struggled to look at the entire landing strip and the town beyond it from their cheap seats on an already shabby ship. Said seats were buzzing loudly just as the entire ship was and for half a second, Tootsie wondered if his wife and this ship might be kin. He thought of asking but the engine was screaming much too heavily at this point. By the time it slowly started to come to a still, the question was entirely forgotten. All he could put his mind to was how excited he was to get out there in the world to start his brand new life. It would be roughly how it used to be, except that with Mega-Girl at his side, nothing was ever how it used to be.

" _The ship has landed successfully. Please take all personal belongings with you as you exit. You have arrived on Farm Planet. Good luck with that._ "

Mega-Girl needed no luggage, of course. She had nothing material of her own, wore no clothes. Her metal shell and inner cogs and gears were self sustaining, designed to withstand a range of temperatures far broader than the average human such as Tootsie. For his part, he had left Farm Planet with not much to his name, a small case with a spare change of clothes and pictures of his family. Now that he was back, he still had no more than that and his name had been lost as well. How much he had gained, however, was immeasurable. He grabbed his dufflebag from the overhead bin but the only prized possession that was coming home with him was his wife at his arm.

"Told my Ma you was coming with me," he explained to Mega-Girl as they made their leisurely way out of the ship, lagging behind a small crowd of other exhausted farmers coming home - no one ever really came to little old Farm Planet for vacation or business. "I told her, I said, 'Ma, I got myself the most beautiful wife in the universe and we're looking to settle down cause I wanna start farming again with my sweetheart'. She's a wonderful woman, my Ma. And she says she was real lookin' forward to meetin' you."

" _Your compliments please and flatter me, Tootsie Mega-Girl._ "

They walked out of the small rickety shack of an airport building and it unfortunately soon became obvious to him that not everyone felt the same way about Mega-Girl as what his momma had sworn. Farm Planet had been a lost little patch in sky, isolated for so long that robots had never been developed here natively. As a result, the people who had even seen any robots had only ever known them as either brutal invaders or thoughtless servants. Tootsie and Mega-Girl had barely made three steps out that they found themselves bombarded with snarky remarks from strangers and old friends alike.

"You programmed yourself a wife, lil Toot?"

"Careful, partner, I think a robot's followin' ya."

"Oh, _someone's_ moving up in the world, a whole robot just for your service?"

"You got a permit to drag that thing along?"

Each and every time, he was quick to correct the person no matter how well he knew them, if he did at all. He was proud of his wife, unbelievably so, and he knew darn well that she had her own free will and was still choosing to spend her existence with a simple farmer like him. For Tootsie, that made their love all the more special, all the more precious. No part of her was a servant to him, or to any other human, for that matter. None was dangerous, either.

"I'm sorry folks here ain't used to robots," he said, cocking his head apologetically at Mega-Girl. "I hope this doesn't spoil the homecomin' for you..."

" _Negative_ ," she replied. " _My levels of happiness rise in strict correlation with your presence in my proximity and no other factor._ "

He smiled and squeezed her hand. They said that metal was cold, but whenever he touched her, her shiny shell turned warm and pleasant, the same as any other person's skin.

"Oh, I like when you's around me too, Mega-Girl," he said. "I could have the whole galaxy and I'd have nothin' if I didn't got you."

They rode a shaky and creaking bus to Tootsie Mega-Girl's childhood home near the outer edge of town. It would have been a delightful ride if it weren't for the glances he kept noticing people throw at his wife. He wrapped a protective arm around her shoulders, trying to leave as little doubt as could be as to the nature of their relationship, trying to win over their doubts with the certainty of his love. Mega-Girl was unresponsive but he knew that, had she been bothered by the gesture of tenderness, she had ample ability to propel him out of the vehicle windows if she so wished without hardly a drop of oil spent to the effort. He kissed her cheek softly. Soon, they had arrived home.

"My son!" His mother shouted when she spotted him by the gate where the bus had dropped them off. She started running to welcome him with open arms. "My beautiful baby son! Oh, you've grown again, you little tyke!"

"Momma!"

Some Starship Rangers didn't go home for years, even decades. Tootsie had only been away for a matter of weeks, yet the reunion felt like it would have already been overdue several lifetimes ago. He let himself be held and cherished, swirling his much shorter mother around in his arms.

"Oh, Ma, I missed you so bad! It just wasn't the same out there without ya!"

"And without _you_ ," she said, cupping his face with her two hands before leaving his embrace, her hand on his arm to pull him along. "Well, come on then, your sisters are waitin' for you inside and..."

"Wait!" He cried out, unmoving. "Ma, you haven't met my wife."

His mother stopped in her tracks. She turned around and Tootsie's heart broke in his chest when he saw her expression change from curious interest to outright distrust. She looked at Mega-Girl like a dog looked at another trying to steal his favorite bone.

" _That's_ your wife?"

"Hell yeah!" He replied, beaming. "Ma, let me introduce to you, what'd you say your full name was again, _Ultrabeam_ Mega-Girl, right, darlin'?"

Mega-Girl's face was entirely unchanged from her usual neutral resting expression. To him, she was the most beautiful being in the world either way.

" _Affirmative_."

"Meet my beautiful wife Mega-Girl, momma. I hope you like her just as much as another daughter cause I love her more than the stars in the sky and she's my whole life."

"Mmh," his mother huffed. "We'll talk inside."

He glanced between the two of them, Mega-Girl's impassible round face and his mother trying to hide her disfavor, but Tootsie could see it plain all the same.

"You're not... Ma, you ain't gonna say hello?" He turned back to his wife, pleading with his eyes. "Mega-Girl?"

Mega-Girl gave him something of an eyeroll before attempting to fake a smile as she looked at his mother.

" _Greetings, human. I am so pleased to meet you."_

He grinned in relief only to turn back to his mother and find her just as stone and cold as before.

"We'll talk inside," she repeated and he could only stare at the back of her as she went inside the home without waiting for him - and especially not for his bride.


	2. Like a cog in clockwork

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tootsie and his mom have a little conversation about Mega-Girl.

Tootsie Mega-Girl was the last child of eight, all girls besides. His whole life, his sisters had comforted and protected him fiercely, kissed his booboos and soothed his fears. They instilled in him a sense of peace, of being home and even though he had felt much more at ease since the ship had landed on Farm Planet than all the time he had spent roaming the vast universe, the second he entered his mother's kitchen and found his seven sisters and their families smiling kindly at him was the one moment he could point to as him truly coming home. Immediately a whirlwind of embraces and kisses and 'I missed you's suffocated him with love and he could not help smiling from ear to ear.

That was until his mother's hand clutched his shoulder and she gave a little cough that they had all long learned to interpret.

"Girls, I need a talk with your brother."

At once, everyone in attendance emptied the room to the roofed patio outside where he could still hear whispered chatter. Only Mega-Girl was standing stiffly by the door as if guarding it. Tootsie gave her a smile but it faded as soon as he turned back to his mother. She nodded sternly towards Mega-Girl, a frown all over her face. He was not used to being treated like a disobedient little boy by her anymore, weeks away from home, and did not like it one bit. It made him feel ridiculous and nervous. His hands fretting and twisting, he stuttered despite himself.

"Darlin', erm… I think Ma meant she wants to talk to me just on my own…"

There was a low mechanic stirring that could be heard faintly from inside of her, her circuits working to understand him before she replied.

" _Request acknowledged. I will be waiting outside, Tootsie Mega-Girl._ "

His shoulders sagged in relief and he watched her walk out with a dumb bewitched smile. How understanding she could be even though no one else seemed to see it in her. But he knew her, he absolutely did and better yet, she knew him as well. Oh, he was a very simple boy with simple thoughts and needs and not much depth to him but somehow, he felt like only Mega-Girl had ever truly understood him exactly as he was. That was also why he loved her most of all.

"Tootsie _Mega-Girl_?" His mother repeated incredulously as soon as the door closed behind Mega-Girl. "That ain't your name, Tootsie Noodles, what's with that?"

"I changed my name," he announced proudly. "Cause I finally found the one thing I love the most."

His mother passed a hand over her face in frustration.

"'Thing' is right," she said as if explaining him the most basic concept of life for the first time. "Toot, that _thing_ ain't human."

Tootsie had sadly been exceedingly used to being chided on account of his complete lack of brains. Another reason to love Mega-Girl, maybe, who never held it against him. She even claimed it was part of his charm. Coddle Tea, his very own mother, had used to say the same thing about him. Now that she was looking at him with an air of disdain and annoyance, he was not so sure anymore.

"I know she ain't," he said, trying out a charming smile. If he reminded her that he was, after all, still the same beloved son she had seen off these short weeks ago, she might forgive whatever slight she perceived here. "She's a robot, Ma! A beautiful, perfect robot."

A shaking fist was the reply he received. His mother was trying her very best to control her temper but it had never been quite under her reigns even under the mildest of happenstances. Presently, she was almost steaming with frustration.

"Listen, boy, I know I wasn't a perfect momma and it got hard and harder to raise all of you since your father passed, peace upon his soul, and I know you been foolish since the day I gave birth to you with my own sweat and tears, bless your heart, but I ain't raised you like this, Tootsie. That thing is danger."

"She's not a thing and she's not danger! She's… strong and she protects me and she loves me all the same as any other person would've! Or even more! Ma, _please_."

But his mother had crossed her arms sternly. She was leaning against the kitchen counter, unwilling to so much as share the table with Tootsie, to get to his level.

"It ain't a person." Her voice was unmoving. She was calling Mega-Girl a machine, but in this moment, everything about herself was cold hard steel. "My Lord, you've had many a foolish idea before but to come home with a whole robot! I thought it was yer pet or servant - not that I'd want that, mind you - but to make it yer wife? Ain't there enough real women so as to find yourself one? One with a heartbeat?"

This wasn't the homecoming Tootsie had been looking forward to. Outside the door, he heard a laughter that was promptly shushed. He sighed.

"She ain't got a flesh and blood heartbeat," he admitted, "But at night when it's real quiet, you can hear the noise of her battery and it's soothin' me to sleep like a lullaby."

"You sleep together, do ya? I was wonderin' if I should find an empty spot to store it in the barn."

He would have been indignant if it hadn't been his dear momma he was speaking to, whom he loved and respected and would never dream of raising his voice to. His poppa had taught him that nothing should ever be solved by a fight if it could be ended with a smile. He attempted that very technique then.

"Course we do," he said and it wasn't even hard to smile then because everything to do with Mega-Girl made him radiate happiness without even having to think of it. "We're man and wife! Though she don't sleep much, usually I sleep and she'll lie there and watch for foes and stuff."

"Ain't no foes livin' under my roof if I can help it."

Tootsie didn't often understand things, but even a fool like him knew plain as day that under foes, his mother included his wife. He was feeling more helpless than he had felt when gigantic bugs had tried to kill him and his squad or worse, when they had attacked Mega-Girl.

"You gon' be real happy about this, Ma, 'cause we wasn't planning on staying here anyways. We're gonna rent us a home somewhere. This afternoon, we're visiting the real estate dude."

For a reason that completely eluded him, that seemed the worst blow of all. Her mother's resolve crumbled into thick silence and when she spoke again, her voice was much softer.

"I s'pose I should've expected that..." Hesitantly, she sat at the large table across him. Her hand tapped once, twice against the rough wood before reaching out. At once, he let her hold his hand, thumbs stroking palms. "You had to start making your own damn decisions, didn't ya? My baby boy, all grown up with a wife and soon his own home... Oh, if only yer pop coulda seen that, Toot."

Tootsie was about to interject with some thoughts he had on the concept of the afterlife now that the mortality of God had been revealed to him but before he could say any such thing, a loud shriek came from outside and his mother was dashing to open the door in frantic worry.

"What's that _robot_ done to my... Oh."

Tootsie's sisters, their daughters (none had yet mothered a son), husbands and wives, even the old granny in her rocking chair usually on the porch, had formed a circle around Mega-Girl, who seemed indifferent or even mildly amused by the attention. She always did like making a spectacle.

"Uncle Toot, look at me, I can fly!"

Several giggling girls had piled up on Mega-Girl's back and arms and from what he could see, they were presently pretending to be Starship Rangers wrestling a huge beast of an evil robot. Mega-Girl was very quiet, allowing without encouraging the whole game of make-believe. It became evident that whoever had shrieked had done so out of delight rather than terror.

" _Smaller humans are very easily entertained by pointless pretense,_ " Mega-Girl told him and he swore he could see her smiling. " _Although the encline to delusion seems to be shared by older members of the species as well._ "

Some of said adults burst into laughter, including Tootsie. Mega-Girl had a sense of humor to her, much more so than him or anyone he knew. You just had to be on the lookout for it. He was smiling dumbly, basking in the good feeling, the joy after such tension with his mother. Everyone seemed to be friendly with Mega-Girl out here. That didn't escape his mother's notice, either.

"Kids, get off of it... erm, of _her_ ," his mother said and for that, Tootsie gave her a side hug.

"But Granny..."

"Get off! That's no way to treat ya new auntie." One by one, the girls jumped off of Mega-Girl, who seemed indifferent either way. "Snap Apples, Snap Oranges, off, I says!"

Pouting, the twins climbed off and ran off to clutch their mother's legs, one on each side, peeking from behind with one eye.

"Now, everyone... I'll get started on lunch soon and all you youngins here better help me, but I wanted to say a few words..." She took a big breath as quiet immediately reigned around her. "You've met her now, ya brother's brought home a wife."

Cheers applauded from all around. Mega-Girl startled but Tootsie wrapped an arm around her waist and she was soothed, eagerly taking whatever affection he had to give - which was and always would be plethora. He could not for the life of him fathom feeling anything but raw and boundless admiration for Mega-Girl. It was a relief and satisfaction to find the rest of his family agreeing with him - after a slight bump in the road. His mother, though she still looked a bit wary, swallowed it down and gave the assembly a smile.

"It seemed like yesterday that he left us to fight himself a better life... He's back now but he's leavin' us again just a little bit." Curious eyes stared at Tootsie quizzically. "He's gon' get him and his wife a house."

"I call his room!" Idle Bow cried before anyone could even react. "I do, Granny, ya heard me first!"

Coddle Tea laughed, patting the girl's head gently as she rushed to grip her waist, begging, but it was Tootsie she was staring at when she spoke.

"You just ask yer uncle, then," she said as her fingers combed through the child's curly hair tenderly - she had loved and cared for so many children of her own and still she was as gentle and patient with the littlest ones as she had been with her firstborn. She had a mother's, a grandmother's heart and that couldn't fade away with time. "If he'll still have a use for it ever again..."

Tootsie stared at them, then at Mega-Girl. The choice was very easy, because there wasn't one to begin with.

"We can just share when I visit," he told the girl. "I reckon I'll be here often, though."

" _Hell yeah!_ " She shouted and ran off to play with siblings and cousins, the room instantly out of her mind.

All conflict out of the way, they spent an excellent morning sat on the patio table catching up between siblings. Mega-Girl's participation to their games had been requested by the rare children who had escaped forced cooking duty and the occasional splatter of hysterical laughter was just the perfect extra touch to an already great day. They made her carry them around, toss around with them, and when they had quieted down into cheerful exhaustion, they sat her down in a corner and made her repeat whatever they said in what they called her 'funny voice' and Mega-Girl obliged all of their demands without a second thought. Tootsie asked himself if that was just part of that love thing she had downloaded and what else it held.

"Toot!" A hand passed in front of his face and shook him out of his incredibly fond thoughts. "He don't even hear us, can ya believe that, girls?"

His youngest sister Plow Tater, the closest above him in age, was smiling at him kindly as her little newborn was nursingin her arms. He had not yet met the baby before today and stroked her tiny bald head with a finger before replying.

"Sorry," he said with a self-conscious shrug. "It's just... She's so pretty, ain't she? And nice with the kids and all."

From both sides, arms patted his shoulders teasingly and he felt very warm with the attention.

"Never thought I'd see the day," another sister said. "Our little Tootsie struck with love."

"You watch it, his wife's gon' be popping him robot babies before he can say the words 'sleepless night'."

He laughed with the rest of them, of course. Behind them, he heard Mega-Girl try out a hesitant fake battle cry that was received with equally fake shrieks of terror.

"We ain't there yet," he said simply. "See, we've only gotten married three weeks ago now."

After his mother's reaction, he was almost expecting mockery or doubt again but all of them nodded wistfully. Finally, Plow Tater reached out to pat his hand.

"Well, if she's the person for you, you'll share everything when it comes to it. Just you wait."

For lunch, his mother and the older kids had made everyone a feast of noodles and Tootsie's belly was painfully and deliciously filled by the time he helped her in the kitchen with the dishes and the cleaning up.

"I mighta been a bit hasty," she admitted, taking the last plates from his helping hands and putting them away in the cupboard. "Judgin' that wife of yours. I'm sorry."

"It's nothing, momma," he said truthfully. "You'll get to know her, I promise. You'll get to like her."

"I still think ya a bit foolish," she said, holding his hands tenderly. She kissed his cheeks, twice each. "But that's my boy, ain't it?"

He laughed, glad for things to be back the way they ought to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment if you've read this and enjoyed it!


	3. Real Estate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tootsie Mega-Girl and Mega-Girl set out to find a house in town.

There was one real estate company on Farm Planet. More specifically, there was a small shack on the busiest street of his town, which was the only real town of the tiny planet and served as its capital, neighbored by a handful of even tinier villages. In that rusty shack worked a loud, big-bellied man who smoked a lot of pot and singlehandedly kept the adjacent fried dumpling stall running morning, noon and night. He had made a fortune of himself in the Galactic League Stock Markets, they said, and had bought off the entirety of Farm Planet to rent to poor tired farmers to right to live on their own land. When Tootsie Mega-Girl opened the door to his wife for them to meet the man who would give them the home of their dreams to inhabit, their savior was throwing dumplings in the air and catching them with his mouth - or attempting to. The floor was dotted with evidence of past failures.

"No robots inside," he grumbled for a greeting without even looking at them. "Get that thing out before we can talk."

Mega-Girl glared at him. If looks could kill... But Mega-Girl had much more than her beautiful brown eyes to kill a man and if he sat there living, it meant she didn't mind him alive. Tootsie could only look at her helplessly, confused as to what he ought to do, but she pressed his arm gently.

" _I cannot stay inside this hovel any longer. My atmospheric captors are sensing saturated levels of stupidity and human pettiness. Goodbye._ "

She turned around stiffly and walked out before Tootsie could try to make things right. The door closed briskly in his face and he stared at it for a few painful seconds before facing the man again.

"Hello, Mr..." He glanced down at a thick copper plaque on the desk. "Hyooman?"

Jack Hyooman chuckled and gestured to the chair opposite him. By the time Tootsie had sat down, he had launched yet another dumpling into the air and groaned victoriously when he managed to catch it with his teeth. He ate it gluttonously (though thankfully close-mouthed) and rubbed off his lips with a napkin before talking.

"Not my birth name, if you were wondering," he clarified. "I married an alien, what can I say? He thought it'd be _funny_ for us to change our family name. Can't say I regret it. The things you do for love, right?"

That was encouragement enough for Tootsie Mega-Girl.

"Love's just what I'm about, Sir! Just today, I just got back from being a Starship Ranger because I got a wife now, I found her in space and I wanna rent you a home for us both to live. Ya see, I grew up here and..."

"Your name?" Said the man, browsing through papers on his desk.

"Tootsie," he said. "Tootsie Mega-Girl."

The man gave him a long insistent stare, munching on another dumpling. He swallowed thickly, the soft bumps of his chin and throat trembling with the effort.

"You know, I try not to get myself too close to the farmers here," he said slowly. "Cause I don't care much 'bout that kind of social shit and I haven't come here to make friends with a bunch of fucking farmers. But I've been here long enough that I know about your... colorful and, quite frankly, ridiculous names. So unless you tell me you're _really_ liking your little servant there outside as a pet or something, I'm gonna have to believe that's your wife right there."

Tootsie could only smile.

"Yeah," he breathed out, butterflies clutching his stomach again like it was the first time he spoke about her. "Yeah, that's her. Does moving back home count as yer honeymoon 'cause I've been wonderin' if I should..."

But Jack Hyooman wouldn't let him finish. He sounded markedly more annoyed when he cut him this time.

"You know, _boy_ ," he said, his voice dripping with superior contempt, "My husband was a Starship Ranger the same as you. Retired quite a few years ago when I started to make it big in the business, so a rookie like you wouldn't know him, I think, but he did pretty well for himself... in the Robot Wars. Fighting _against_ those nasty wastes of perfectly fine metal."

Tootsie felt his heart fall deep inside his chest and looked down, sorry for himself but much more so for Mega-Girl.

"Now, if I could help it, I'd kindly ask security to throw you out of here right this moment," he said, though there was no sign of anyone besides the two of them in the shipment container of an office they were in. "What I can tell you instead is that no robot is gonna live in any house of mine. Would just destroy it next time it shortcircuits or something. Not taking that risk."

Tootsie wanted to retort something, utterly outraged, but Hyooman held up a hand to silence him.

"Unfortunately for me, Farm Planet is under Milky Galactic Law. Ironic, am I right?"

He burst into laughter in front of an entirely stoic Tootsie.

"Milky? Farm Planet?" He rubbed tears of hilarity from his eyes with the same napkin that had been used on his mouth earlier. "Nah, it's fine, I don't expect a bunch of farmers to really _get_ humor… No, what Milky Galactic Law says, because it's convinced yourself that you farmers of all people need a moderate amount of protection, is I'm basically not allowed to show you the door and refuse business if you got the money and you haven't punched me in the face." He quirked an eyebrow at Tootsie. "Don't feel like that right now per chance, boy?"

Tootsie didn't. Violence had never been his first resort and even now, all he longed for was for the man to give him a contract to sign to let him rent out whichever house he agreed to, rundown or moldy as it might be. Hyooman waited a few long seconds before shrugging.

"So, what I'm gonna do is I'll let you have your pick out of the cheapest lots of empty land I got. Was gonna build myself a second bathroom on one of these, but…" He passed a thin binder to Tootsie across the table, a few yellow and wrinkled pages each describing a small parcel of the planet. "Guess _you_ 'll live on my shitter lot instead. Hope that robot of yours can build houses."

When Tootsie left the shack a few minutes later with a signed contract in his hand that proved he had the right to dwell on that little corner of dirt of his choice. Mega-Girl was standing with her back to the door and he pressed a hand to her shoulder.

"Hey, erm, darlin'..."

" _The traffic on this planet is exceptionally slow. I only spotted five sentient beings the entire time you were inside. Two were dogs_." She turned to him and smirked. " _Three if I count the man you were with._ "

She saw the paper in his hand.

" _You acquired a house for us._ "

He scratched the back of his head self-consciously.

"Er, 'bout that..." He didn't quite know how to express how disappointed and ashamed he felt knowing he wasn't able to complete such a simple task he had assigned himself and just handed her the contract wordlessly. "It ain't quite a home, but I think we can make it work."

Her eyes scanned the content of the contract in mere seconds before she handed it back to him.

" _Statistically plausible_ ," she said. " _But I will need visual evidence for more accurate calculations of our likely levels of happiness and success._ "

Another bus ride later, the couple found themselves stepping towards the lot that would be their future home, hopefully as long as forever. Embarrassed as he still felt, Tootsie was relieved to see that, though entirely bare and naked, the lot was promising. They had few neighbors and the lot was quite a way away from his childhood home (although on a small planet which barely reached the size of a country on any other averagely sized planet, nothing was ever that far from anything), but it was a decent size for both a dwelling and sufficient farm lands, and the soil was rich and thick.

"This ain't half bad, innit?" He grinned, inviting Mega-Girl to thread inside the empty lot crudely lined by sparse and rotting fences. "Whaddya think?"

" _The chances of us settling into a satisfying domestic life here are..._ " She smiled. "One hundred _percent_."

He held her by the waist, stared into her beautiful large eyes. He could have done so for hours but then she leaned up and kissed him and he was sure the tingles coursing from his head to his toes weren't just the electricity that powered her. He groaned, pulling her closer and her rigid arms trapped him in their perfect embrace. They kissed and one hundred percent happiness didn't even seem like enough to describe their entwined future.

"I ain't ever built a house before," he admitted eventually.

He dropped to the ground, sitting there, his fingers mindlessly toying with slightly wet dirt and a little patch of weed growing there. Much more cautiously, Mega-Girl sat down next to him and he found himself thinking that the way she was kneeling there, her legs and arms creaking as she folded them neatly into a crossed-legs position with her hands on her knees, she looked cute, for lack of a better word to describe an exceedingly competent top of the line robot. But that robot was his lawfully wedded wife and he could think her cute all he wanted.

"My sister, the third one, her wife's a builder," he said. "From Brick Planet. They met at the Interplanetary Rural Fair a few years back. She was s'posed to bring us a new couple of hens and a piggy for the farm, but instead she brought home a wife."

His hand covered hers, feeling it warm up underneath, and he pulled it to his lips for a kiss on the back of it.

"I think that just runs in the family."

" _That statement has a high likelihood_ ," she said. " _Weakness runs through human bloodlines_."

"It's true," he said and kissed her hand again. "You're my weakness, Mega-Girl."

" _And you are mine, Tootsie Mega-Girl_ ," she replied.

Mega-Girl didn't blush, no blood running through her body, but in this instant Tootsie was flushed enough for the both of them. He sighed.

"I'm sorry I didn't got us a real home. And that the guy was... not nice. I hate when people treat you like that, it ain't fair."

" _It's not a problem. I have thick skin._ " She laughed, a grating metallic sound that put him at ease. " _Ha, ha, I am made of 87% tempered steel._ "

The afternoon was slowly drawing to an end. It was sunny, warm but not hot to the point of discomfort and the sky was entirely clear. Not bad for the first day of their new life. They didn't have much, an empty lot, some coins in his pocket from his Ranger retirement, but they had each other, so they had everything in the world.

"D'you know how to build houses?"

Mega-Girl paused and there was a whirring sound coming from her mouth that Tootsie could only wait through. It was over in less than a minute and she could move again.

" _Download completed. Your Mega-Girl unit has now mastered knowledge of_ Architecture _and_ Construction."

"Affirmative," he replied for her and felt much less daunted than he had been before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Please leave a comment if you've read this. I know it's a slow fic and not much happens. It's not really the point, the point is the relationship between Tootsie and his wife and how the rest of Farm Planet handles it and how that impacts them both. I hope that'll still be enjoyable to some of you.


	4. The sharpest tool in the box

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tootsie and Mega-Girl start drawing up plans for their future and Mega-Girl gets hit on at the marketplace.

As soon as he told them about his visit when they came back much later that night, Tootsie's sisters were outraged at the way their brother's wife had been treated by the landlord of their entire planet. Some shook fists to the heavens, threatening to give him his comeuppance at once. Others, much like Tootsie, turned to Mega-Girl to comfort and support her - though their efforts were all declared fruitless by the very same robot, who said (or possibly joked) that resentment was a petty emotion far beneath her and that discrimination had no emotional impact on her. Lastly, two of them and perhaps the sharpest of this otherwise dull bunch, sat down with the happy couple to start drawing up less fuzzy plans for the future than Tootsie's proclaimed '100% chances of happiness'.

" _Unnecessary_ ," Mega-Girl cut them. " _I took charge of all house-related planning this afternoon while observing the location and calculated the most optimized use of space and resources. The estimated work time before construction completion is approximatively_ two hundreds and twenty-seven _hours_."

"You did?" Tootsie Mega-Girl was in awe. "I thought we was just hangin' out and spendin' time together as man and wife... But you were there plannin' out a whole house at the same time? Woah!"

His sister coughed tauntingly.

"First of all, no one needs to hear about your sexploits out there, Toot."

Tootsie's face was suddenly burning hot and his stomach twisted stressfully.

"That ain't what I meant! We just sat there and talked, is all!"

Tootsie had come to his wedding day a virgin, and clueless on top of that, and although his world had been turned upside down every day he had spent with Mega-Girl so far, all twenty-three of them, that aspect had not changed since. He didn't quite know how it all worked and, especially with the matter of Mega-Girl being a robot with no evident anatomy of the relevant kind, he did not know who on this planet he might even ask for help. Certainly not his family, for that was none of their business. He would have to figure it out on his own. As for everything with Mega-Girl, his heart rather than his poor brains was pulling the reins. He was certain that, come to it, he would know what to do, feel it in him. When he was ready. He wasn't there yet. But looking at Mega-Girl, he wondered. Oh, he wondered.

His sister whispered something into her wife's ear and they both chuckled before slapping his back gently.

"What's that plan you got, then, Mega-Girl?"

Mega-Girl requested a stack of paper and a writing utensil, which were brought at once. A flock of kids gathered around the table as she started drawing up what looked to Tootsie like a map of the lot they had visited. First the exact outline of that little plot of land of theirs in infinitely more details than anything Tootsie could have produced, soon the drawing became the promise of their future.

" _I analyzed the quality of soil with my geothermal sensors and determined the optimal location for housing, farming and storage._ " She was adding quick annotations. Her handwriting was an exact 12 point Courier New font. " _This plan is flawless and inevitable._ _I factored in our financial situation, the resources already at Tootsie's disposal in the family storage barn and the average prices of the past eighteen months for each possible material, relative to their durability and quality. Here is the list of all required elements yet to be purchased."_

She started to write out a list of extremely specific amounts of various construction materials and pieces of furniture. To Tootsie, everything she had just said was a big blurry cloud of words and he was content to simply smile and nod. Thankfully, not everyone in his family was as thick as him when it came to serious talk. The more capable of his sisters carefully studied everything Mega-Girl was putting out and nodded approvingly. Tootsie caught only tidbits as Mega-Girl went on and on into ever more details, something about a wood and metal structure but bricks for the bulk of the house, mentions of a chicken coop which made him infinitely happy, running water and electricity, neither of which were a given on Farm Planet.

"She's a smart one, that wife o' yours," a sister remarked.

"Ain't she?" He was beaming. He wanted to swoop up Mega-Girl in his arms and cover her with kisses. "I don't think I've ever met nobody smarter."

" _That statement is accurate_ ," Mega-Girl replied with a smile that was probably meant as teasing moreso than taunting, or so he hoped.

Several people smiled, others laughed. Everybody seemed to be implicitly understanding that no harm could ever come of Mega-Girl, that she was just another person making friends and having ideas and living her life. After several very unpleasant altercations with other humans only just today, he was relieved to not be living with that fear at home.

"So when's that all taking place?" His mother asked quietly.

"Soon as possible?" Tootsie assumed.

He looked at Mega-Girl. He could never get tired of it, the adorable roundness of her face, how soft she looked even if he knew from being told that she had been designed with a harsher purpose. Staring into her eyes, her _ocular sensors_ as she called them, he knew he would wait as long as it took for their perfect home to come about, because every step along the way would be wholly perfect as well since he would be at her side. He didn't think it was possible for any hurdle in the road to be too heavy for their love to endure, not a few days or weeks or however long squatting his dear momma's old house would last.

" _Yes_ ," Mega-Girl replied. " _Although I could not determine the exact amount of workers at our disposal._ "

Tootsie did not even need to raise a finger. Immediately, several sisters volunteered themselves.

"Are you crazy? Everyone will help! Anythin' for family."

They started calling out for the older children, the husbands and wives (old granny would be spared the exercise), even a few friends and before long they were all drafted as a builder, no matter their experience. Everyone was excited about Tootsie Mega-Girl and his robot wife to be on the path to their new life. Tootsie went to bed thoroughly exhausted from all the excitement and with a lowly buzzing Mega-Girl at his side, lying stiffly next to him in a bed made for one, sleep found him all the more easily and it was blissful and repaired any wrong of the day.

The next morning, Mega-Girl appointed herself in charge of bargaining at the market. She liked being in charge of things, which suited Tootsie very well, who liked following easy orders and pleasing people. Tons of helping hands had come to help pack up the purchased materials while others waited with vehicles to transport them to the empty lot. It was a whole very serious organization and who better to put a bit of order into anything than a super computer of a wife? Tootsie could only watch from an amazed distance as she gave all the merchants her exact demands and one by one, an accompanying sister crossed all items off the list. Her accuracy and serious care stunned all the sellers – although Tootsie wondered if that might not have been the shock of meeting a robot for the first time. He had been equally impressed when he had first caught sight of her. Different stockpiles emptied from their storage into her possession and were stacked neatly into whatever trucks and chariots the family owned, poor as they were.

"Ain't she amazing?" Tootsie said a dozen times to anyone who would hear. "Ain't she so smart and perfect?"

Tootsie was about to drive Mega-Girl and himself with the last truck packed with wooden beams by the time he noticed the man. He was looking at Mega-Girl - how could anyone not look at Mega-Girl? There was a spark in his eyes that told the whole world his interest and Tootsie observed from some distance how he made a few brisk steps towards her and start talking. He was tall, though not as tall as Tootsie, but his smile was much more charming, or so Tootsie told himself. Though he couldn't decipher any words from where he was standing, Tootsie had the gut feeling that they might have been flirtatious. Mega-Girl's replies were far and few between.

Tootsie was not a jealous man, had never been. It made no sense to him. If someone loved him, and he was certain that Mega-Girl did, then absolutely nothing reprehensible would ever come out of her talking to another man. And if she loved another, then he would already have lost her before any altercation and why would he risk an argument for someone that wasn't his to keep any longer? So it wasn't jealousy but simply curiosity that prompted him to make his way to the pair and find out for himself what the discussion was about.

"Where did you get pants this shiny out here on Farm Planet?" The guy was saying and paid Tootsie absolutely no attention when he stood there next to Mega-Girl. "They look super hot on you."

" _Negative_ ," Mega-Girl replied. " _My temperature auto-regulates beyond the threshold of danger to prevent overheating._ "

The guy laughed crudely.

"I'll give _you_ overheating," he said with a wicked grin and took a step closer, way too close into Mega-Girl's personal space. "Name's Pounder Nuts. Babe, how 'bout you get your shiny pants over to my... Oh, shit, hey dude!"

Finally, he had registered Tootsie's presence and put two and two together as to why Tootsie's arm was presently wrapping around Mega-Girl's waist to comfort her, pressing their hands flat together.

"This your girl or something?"

" _Yes_ ," Mega-Girl replied for herself. " _I am his wife._ "

Tootsie found that for some reason, she was standing closer to him than she usually would, leaning into his contact more. He liked that a lot and kissed her cheek to prove it.

"Shit, I wasn't... I was just saying her pants are nice, is all, alright? Don't get mad at me."

Tootsie didn't know what to do or say. He didn't understand Mega-Girl's silence, her clinginess, so he started from what he knew and smiled.

"They're great, ain't they? She makes 'em shine with oil every few days, but they're not really pants actually, that's just your body, right, Mega-Girl?"

"What, she was born with pants? She an alien or somethin'?"

"Well, not _born_ ," Tootsie explained patiently, glad to know something someone didn't for once. "She's a robot, she was assembled... How many years ago was it, darlin'? I don't even know your age."

" _Twenty-five years, one month and nine days._ "

"Oh, darn, does this mean I missed your birthday? I'm so sorry, Mega-Girl, I'll make it up to you next year..."

But the guy snapped and cut him angrily. He was not looking at Mega-Girl at all anymore. In fact, he seemed to actively be ignoring her. Tootsie frowned.

"I don't fucking care how old your robot is, man!"

He realized he'd been shouting, opened his mouth as if to explain himself but did not. Eventually, he just started to walk away.

"Almost gettin' myself punched for a _robot_ , fucking hell..."

It was a few long seconds of awkward silence before Tootsie had fully registered what had just happened. He pulled Mega-Girl into a closer hug, rubbing her back.

"Darlin', I'm so sorry, I don't know why..."

But Mega-Girl disengaged from the embrace and took a few steps away from him to start supervising the workers carrying the beams to their truck.

" _It is nothing_ ," she said dryly. She counted the beams, looking away from Tootsie. " _Twenty-three. These were the final batch of materials. Are we ready for transportation?_ "

Tootsie had so much more he wanted to say but in this moment, he was too stupid to know how to say it. He sat behind the wheel and drove them to what was to be their new home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk if you've read this can you please comment? please?


	5. Barn Raising

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tootsie and Mega-Girl house is built and he soon discovers that his wife does not, in fact, feel as many human needs as him. Sleep, for starters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao this took me 2 months to update I'm so sorry y'all, I'd recommend to re-read the previous chapter to keep the flow of this one!

Their home was built in two  hundred and twenty-seven hours.

The whole family pitched in their efforts, working at it every day. Children ran around playing in the chaotic mess that was bond to surround any enterprise of such length and scale. The adults who could build put every effort into seeing this house up and running. The ones who couldn't helped carry around materials, providing meals and cheer and good spirit. Tootsie counted himself in the second category. At night, they went back to the family home and enjoyed each other's company but during the day, everyone was focused on making this home a tangible reality. Mega-Girl alone was supervising every progress, keeping a mental tally of everything to be done and, if asked, providing further instructions beyond the tasks of the day. Brick after brick, plank after plank, one piece of furniture at a time, dirt became ground, became foundations and walls and rooms, became a house, a home.

Meager as their means were, they lacked for nothing. It was advanced too, or at the least what passed as technology on Farm Planet. Tootsie marveled at the way the lights switched on when he entered a room without having to flick any switch, at the solar pannels covering the roofs better than any thatch, at the running water in every room (a luxury after a childhood of sharing the chore of fetching water from the well with seven siblings, falling on him most often of all for his crime of being the youngest), the one windmill at the bottom of the garden providing them with plenty of energy, more than enough for the two of them.

Because they were down to two now. The last day of constructions - by then mostly small repairs and cleaning up - had been crowned with a large meal, the whole family invited, all the neighbors as well. All of the former, few of the latter had showed up. It had been a long afternoon of chatter and bonding and a lot of eating noodles by the bucket. By the end of it, Tootsie Mega-Girl was thoroughly exhausted but as the door closed behind the last of the guests getting home, he sighed out with more satisfaction than he ever remembered before. Their first night home.

"It's just us now, darlin'," he said, stroking his fingertips against her metal forearms from behind. He kissed her shoulder, which was cool to the touch of his lips and pleasant after a warm day. "All on our own in our beautiful home. Whaddya think of how it came together?"

" _ Everything was executed accurately following my plans _ ," she replied, " _ Therefore the result was perfect, because my plans were perfect. _ "

"'Course they were."

They went outside to their little porch at the back where they had installed their most comfortable armchairs with a view out on the galactic skies. Mega-Girl did not care for soft or cushiony seats or even for sitting at all, but when Tootsie offered her his lap by patting it, she took a seat all the same and they stared up at the stars together.

Tootsie did not know much. He never had, almost everything leaving his brain as soon as he would hear it and the very little he managed to retain was fuzzy and feeble. Mega-Girl, for the first time in his life, gave him the steel solid anchorage he had never known. He didn't voice it all, nor did he think that it would be of interest to anyone outside his present company, but he knew now. A small clutter of facts about her had become a mountain, a world of details that would never leave this here embrace. The exact shape of the bolts at her articulations, the way her hair tickled with electricity when he kissed her neck, the weight of her (somehow heavier than another woman but emptier too, different, better), the way she smelled (oil, which she occasionally mixed with fragrances for her enjoyment and especially his), the way she felt, the way she was. He knew and adored every part of her implicitly.  _ He _ did.

"I... uh, I been wondering..."

Mega-Girl was sturdy and stiff, made for combat and service, but only those who didn't know her thought her hard. Cuddling into Tootsie's chest with a low rumble that resembled a purr, she was as soft as he was himself. She nodded to mark her attention.

"I mean, if you wanted to talk about feelings and all..."

That grabbed her interest.

" _ Feelings? We have already established our feelings, Tootsie _ Mega-Girl*."*

Her hand pressed against his heart and he seized it, their palms together. They looked at each other. A whole universe out there, galaxies bright against the night sky, and still they only had eyes for one another.

"That's true, but it ain't what I meant." He sighed. He had thought about how to breach this issue for weeks and yet, now that they had time alone for it, he was as clueless as if he had hardly given it a thought before. "It's just, how the neighbors are with ya, and my ma at first too, and people whenever we go out..."

Mega-Girl processed what he was saying. Truly, she was the smartest of them all and surely of the two of them, but feelings were hardly part of her realm of knowledge. In his heart, he knew more than her about that part of life, but he couldn't explain any of it either. She looked at him dubiously.

" _ Envy is a weak human emotion. They're jealous of me because they know my superior design would annihilate them if I wanted to. _ " She paused, thinking some more. " _ I don't want to. Not anymore. _ "

Tootsie had never once believed she was truly capable of violence or hatred, even when she had claimed so herself.

"You think it's jealousy?" He asked doubtfully. "I thought they was just afraid."

" _ I find the distinction irrelevant. _ "

He supposed, if he thought about it, that it was. He sat further back into the chair, pulling Mega-Girl with him. The night was getting dark already, as it did this time of the year on Farm Planet. Mega-Girl's hair was shining with moonlight, bright under the stars. He took a tendril between his fingers to play with it.

"I don't think it all goes just as you say," he said. "I think you feel things, but you don't say when you do. Ain't that true, darlin'?"

She nuzzled against him with what could only pass as softness to him, who knew what that was like on her.

" _ I always thought that my inbuilt worldview was universally accurate _ ," she said. " _ You made me realize its shortcomings. Emotions are... not as unimportant as I had believed. _ "

He smiled kindly.

"S'alright to feel upset when people don't treat you good. It's normal to talk 'bout it, too. My ma says that if you let emotions eat you up, they'll swallow you from your tummy till you're a blackhole and others around will drown in ya."

" _ All parts of this are inaccurate. Emotions are merely circuits in the brain or the chip _ ," Mega-Girl replied. " _ They are strictly contained within oneself. _ "

But she had caught his meaning, of course. Looking at him, she reached and held his arm reassuringly.

" _ Your worry is _ one hundred percent  _ unnecessary. Human pettiness cannot touch me. I am made of - _ " She patted the sturdy plate of her chest " _ \- tougher stuff. _ "

He laughed and kissed her cheek. Where her humor came from, he couldn't tell. Maybe that was another program she had downloaded for herself. He was grateful if she had.

" _ Robot intelligence is unmatched on many levels _ ," she went on, "a _ nd is a source of pride for us all. My knowledge and endurance are objectively superior to humans. This understanding keep my cogs and gears running. _ "

"I thought that was electricity," he joked, which made her smirk in appreciation.

" _ I will be as efficient a farmer as can be. This might impress our human neighbors. If it doesn't, I am indifferent to their jealousy or their hate. Please do not worry any further. _ "

Her strength soothed him. Trusting her, he told himself, was easier than trusting his own doubts.

"I s'pose you're right, then," he said. "But if you ever change your mind…"

They went to sleep, or at the very least Tootsie did, holding Mega-Girl close to him. Waking up, he rubbed sleep out of his eyes and reached over, only for his palm to clump into the bed sheets and nothing else in it. He blinked a few times to wake himself up better. For a brief moment, he wondered if he had made up this detailed and realistic dream of finding the love of his life and moving in with her, if she was just a figment of his imagination. Another time he rubbed his eyes with numb fingers and his gaze fell to his left. The frame she had placed on their bedside table was still there, the only picture of themselves they had, but unmistakeable. He smiled and got up.

Mega-Girl was overseeing the tomatoes in their little field. She had set up a system of irrigation that required little intervention, but he had noticed that she seemed to find comfort in still checking the right progress of her devices anyways. He simply had not expected that at sunrise.

"Mega-Girl?" he called out. "You okay, love?"

" _ Affirmative! _ "

Living alone with Mega-Girl was a wonder of comfort and surprises. She was increasingly keen on mastering the arts and crafts of gardening and farming and Tootsie spent the first day following along all kinds of instructions she would have of him. Whatever she wanted carried, he carried, or planted, or dug, or fed, or watered, or gathered. He was incredibly relieved to simply be able to put his entire trust in the intelligence of his wife and her competence in seeing their farm become successful. Once, he caught her staring at him as he was plowing a little patch of dirt where he had asked her if they could plant roses.

"What? Am I doin' it wrong?"

But Mega-Girl simply turned away with a series of whirring noises and didn't come back out till long minutes later.

" _ Your plowing is very effective, _ " she said, " _ and the five upper buttons of your shirt are open. _ "

He stopped, leaning an elbow on the handle of the shovel to rub sweat from his forehead.

"That a problem? D'you want me to close it?"

" _ Negative _ ," she said at once. " _ Please do not interfere with the current state in any way. You can carry on. _ "

She stood next to his patch of dirt for the rest of the time it took him to finish it.

They went to bed together again, yet the next morning when he woke up, she was in the barn making inventory of the supplies they had left. In his worry to find her, he forgot to even ask why she'd been out of bed and the second day passed much like the first. He supposed her morning wanderings were only the excitement of the new farm. He was thrilled as well, but tied to his tired human body. He almost envied Mega-Girl to get to enjoy herself here day and night long, but by the third morning of rolling over only to find an empty half of the bed under his palm, he was not so sure he liked it at all. He rubbed his eyes, slowly pulling himself out of the lonely bed again. His wife was at their big kitchen table.

" _ Greetings _ ," she said, chipper. " _ The radishes have germinated during the night. _ "

"That's wonderful, darlin'," he said, making his sluggish way to the coffee maker.

" _ Eight of the chicken have laid an egg. If you wish to consume them, you will find them in that basket, _ " she said and pointed.

Mega-Girl had not yet quite figured out the approximate amounts of food humans typically consumed. Tootsie found her estimations endearing and had not yet had a reason to share basic guidelines with her on that regard. With coffee circulating his body, he felt more awake and, grabbing a few eggs, made his own breakfast. Mega-Girl, of course, had no need to eat – a fact he had had to learn but which explained her refusing many of his offerings in the past. That was alright by him. She had her own needs, he had his. He was more than happy to be in charge of his own cooking. She didn't need his help when it came to upkeeping her own metallic body anyways. It was good for two partners to maintain a healthy part of difference between them. But still, three mornings of reaching for an empty bed...

"Mega-Girl, you didn't… You didn't sleep?"

" _ Negative _ ," she replied at once. " _ Sleep is unnecessary to robot efficiency. _ "

He nodded. Mega-Girl was sorting a large batch of seeds she had purchased at the market for a discount, the bad ones from the ones they could use. Her fingers weren't as nimble as human ones but they were stronger and she had designed a little chute where she pushed the seeds with the back of her hands into two containers. It was very efficient.

"That ain't all there is, though," he said softly. "Efficiency."

" _ Solar energy enters my body through these sensors, _ " she explained, showing off the plaques covering her limbs. " _ They are made of photovoltaic cells. Photons knock electrons free from their atoms, which creates an electric flow that powers my circuits. Sleep plays no factor and is therefore unneeded. _ "

"But you  _ can _ sleep? I thought you slept when we was at Ma."

He started sorting the seeds as well, pink fingers, flexible as they were, not as fast as her silver steel hands but working together all the same.

" _ Of course. I had no better occupation during the night then. Mega-Girls are all equipped with the ability to sleep, should their master not need them for any length of time. _ "

"You don't got no master now," he noted. "But we're husband and wife and I do need you."

She looked at him and gave him a knowing smile, as if this was just an elaborate flirtation he had made up.

" _ And _ I  _ need _ you*, Tootsie Mega-Girl.*"

"Could you please sleep in our bed with me at night? Please?"

She looked at him curiously.

" _ Would that increase your happiness levels? _ "

"Yes," he said. "A lot."

She took his words into consideration.

" _ Physical intimacy is a strong foundation towards a successful marriage. It might be more important than a flourishing agricultural enterprise. _ "

She had a way to put to solid certainty everything that he simply knew intuitively in his heart. They smiled at each other. That night, he held her in his arms in their bed and when he woke in the morning, she had not moved an inch. He stirred her out of sleep mode and kissed her, and their marriage felt very successful indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment if you've read this and enjoyed it!


	6. Making A Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tootsie and Mega-Girl find that happiness is something one finds right at home. Ideally with a dog.

Little by little, their homestead grew very naturally. Mega-Girl, to Tootsie's surprise and delight, was taking to farming like a moth to a lamp.

" _Organic matter is so malleable_ ," she said.

With his helping hands, they were wrapping beans around a large structure of climbing poles. He was taller and stronger, she was more competent, smarter by far, and had a vision of how she wanted their fields to be arranged. She gave orders, he saw them done. They worked very well together.

"It's what?"

Mega-Girl rearranged the straw hat on her head that was threatening to fall as she looked up at him perched on his ladder above her. It was a gift he had made for her all on his own as a surprise for their first week at home. She had claimed that she had no need of thermal regulator in the form of human clothing, but when Tootsie had put it on her head and declared that she looked mighty pretty in such fine garb, she had adopted the hat as a permanent fixture until further notice. Presently, it gave some light-heartedness to her otherwise pensive demeanor.

" _It can be manoeuvered into a multitude of utilities. I never considered that this was an advantage of organic life. Or even a feature of it._ "

Tootsie smiled. That had always been his course of action whenever people used big sentences and of all people in this universe, the one person he wanted to smile at most of all was his beloved and intelligent wife Mega-Girl.

"You just sayin' that but robots adapt too. I seen you download updates a few times." She passed him another long thin stem to fix firmly around the wooden poles he had planted into an archway to mark the entrance of their field. "You should try'na wrap yourself around this here pole, too. I'm sure you could."

Mega-Girl gave him that metallic sound that was her laugh, music to his ears, touched her hand to his calf which was at a height with her from the top of his ladder. Ever more since they were living on their own, she had started to pay him physical attention unprompted, without him having to initiate contact. With her, he was the happiest husband in the world.

" _Ha, ha, ha, these wooden sticks are too frail to support the weight of a Mega-Girl and would be destroyed._ " She was thoughtful again. " _They were branches once. They died but their existence is not over. When they deteriorate beyond their utility for human use, they will be discarded from human habitations to disintegrate into the organic ground. Their atoms will feed new life and be reborn into another tree._ "

She had been about to hand him the last stem she intended for him to fix up there but stared at it in fascination for a long moment before she passed it to him.

"That's real pretty, what you're sayin' there, Mega-Girl," he said as he attached the last of the rope ties around the pale green stem. "I didn't know you was a poet."

She smiled at him softly. Finally the work was done, and just in time too. Tootsie rubbed his sweaty forehead under his own straw hat. Looking at the sun, he reckoned noon would be coming soon. In fact, his stomach rumbling loudly was an even greater cue.

"Speakin' of feeding," he said. "Are ya coming inside with me?"

" _Negative_ ," she replied. " _The fruit patch need tending._ "

"I need tending too," he pouted, but kissed her cheek gently and fixed the hat more firmly on her head. "You have a great time, then, darlin'."

As a general rule, the duties of inside the home had been assigned to him. Mega-Girl had taken no interest in learning how to cook and Tootsie had seen no point in asking her to. Cleaning and tidying things up were also his responsibilities, filled during the hottest hours of the day. Mega-Girl's robotic superiority allowed her to work on the outside, but he couldn't and had to find refuge in the cooler inside of the home. Tootsie had never been much of a great cook, not when his mama instead had been the most amazing cook in the galaxy at home, but he had also learned from the best and he was at least adequately proficient to feed himself every day. It was, in a way, a source of pride to him to have something to do for himself that no one else in the world would fill if he didn't. Keeping a neat home had come much more naturally. He thought that might have had something to do with the rigorous tidiness of Mega-Girl rubbing off on him. But then, thinking about the malleability of her dear bean stems, he told himself that Mega-Girl, in her rigid robotic ways, was also learning from organic beings such as him.

He cooked, ate, even took a short little nap on their couch after a long morning's work. Who was there to stop him? When he woke, he heard Mega-Girl in their kitchen. She was sorting a huge basket of berries into several boxes.

"Hey," he said, his voice slightly slurred by the rest. "Whatcha doin'?"

" _I am sorting our first harvest for their final consumption destinations,_ " she explained. She became animated with joy whenever she had the occasion to give Tootsie more ample information on their farming activities, to brag about her knowledge in an area he supposedly mastered. For that reason, he asked often. " _This container is the best batch and will be put away in the pantry for your consumption. These are for sales on the market place or for export, and these will have to be transformed before monetization. I already assigned to fertilizing the produce unsuitable to human consumption._ "

"Transformed? You'll turn 'em into something?"

" _You will make jams out of them._ "

He smiled.

"I will? Alright."

The enterprise took all afternoon. Tootsie had never much learned about making jams, but when she saw him pulling out his mama's recipe book, Mega-Girl cut his way and instead recited him a recipe she had selected from the web already, which she gladly repeated to him with every step of the process. By the end of the day, though his arms were sore with mixing and pouring and all sorts of carrying, Tootsie felt like an expert. Storing away dozens of jars into empty crates, he was cheerful as ever.

"Ain't that lovely, darlin'? My mama says the only secret to good food is a big chunk of love in every pot."

" _The ingredients I listed were berries and sugar._ " She smiled. " _You must have innovated the recipe._ "

At night, after he had eaten, digging into his first pot of freshly made jam, Tootsie sat out on the back porch to look up at the stars. He had recently taken up playing the banjo. Mega-Girl did not seem to have much of a musical taste, but she still of joined him to chat while he practiced.

" _The humans surrounding us are inefficient_ ," she said out of the blue.

Tootsie struck a few more chords. He wasn't very good at it yet, but he wasn't exceptionally bad either. That was plenty enough. The sound of banjo was soothing to him and practicing was relaxing and pleasant. He realized Mega-Girl was waiting for a reaction.

"Mmh?"

" _I've observed the neighboring agricultural surfaces. Ours is better arranged, more aesthetically pleasing for puny human impressions and yields more and better produce._ "

Tootsie looked around. They shared fences with a few different neighbors, farms of various sizes and importance. Their own field was not especially big, but it wasn't all tiny either and he rarely paid much attention to what was growing in the patches around it. There was more than enough to focus on right at home.

"Is it? I think that's just 'cause ours is full of love, then, Mega-Girl."

He had bought a book at the one bookstore on Farm Planet: "Banjo for Bozos". The instructions were supposed to be so easy to follow that any child or, indeed, idiot, could read along and learn. He was still struggling.

" _It is because humans are not taking full advantage of their abilities. They don't think everything through like I have._ "

"That takes time," he said simply. "Maybe they don't know how."

He tried a complicated chord, failed. An easier one was more successful. If he strummed a few of the chords he had learned so far, he could make up a song. Maybe that'd be a good present for the anniversary of their first two months at home coming up soon. For their first month, he had given her a big bunch of flowers which were still adorning their kitchen table. He smiled to himself, trying to think up some lyrics.

" _Our techniques are more efficient_ ," she went on. " _I've calculated that our output is as high as_ fifty-six _percent better than our neighbors per square meter of arable land, depending on the crop._ "

"I just hope they got enough to put on their plates."

She processed what he was saying, frowning.

"I think that's what matters," he clarified. "To be happy, ya know? Not everything gotta be a competition."

He gave her a large smile which she returned hesitantly.

" _Mega-Girls are from the moment of their manufacture enrolled into a ranking of our efficiency and capacity to upgrade ourselves consistently._ " Her smile was proud then. " _I was number one for many cycles. But I have not checked my rank in a long time._ "

He thought about that. Realizing his fingers had kept playing on their own accord, he suddenly noticed he had found a melody for his song. He played it a few times and stored it away in his memory.

"That's a little bit sad, ain't it? I don't think I'd wanna be comparing myself to others all the time."

A verse about the tone of her skin, so life-like yet he felt the very soft rumbling of her cogs and motors just under the surface whenever he held her. Another about her hair, how shiny it was, how it felt all funny under his fingertips when it was damp. A whole other song about how happy he felt when she touched him, when she kissed him. Maybe an album would be a better gift.

" _I thought our goal was to achieve maximum happiness._ "

How her metal reflected moonlight, how it warmed up at his touch. Her eyes, how vivid they were, just like humans but he knew that, if he looked from very close and with scrutiny, there were miniature gears and whatnot in her dark pupils.

"I've achieved just that," he said, "whenever I'm with you."

He looked up at the stars and one chord came out all wrong. He fixed his fingers and it sounded just fine. Everything was ever just fine these days.

"I think that you become truly happy when you find the person you love."

Maybe a song about the moon and the stars, how Mega-Girl was his favorite star? He'd have to find a way to make it work.

"You know, I had big dreams when I wanted to be a Starship Ranger. I thought I'd just see the whole universe and live some adventures and then come back home a hero with a thousand of stories to tell the little kids." He shook his head with a self-deprecating chuckle. "That was stupid, wasn't it?"

" _Negative_ ," she said. " _Starship Rangers are an effective task force renowned across the galaxy. They are weak and inefficient compared to robots, but they are less weak and inefficient than most humans. I am certain their deeds inspire and entertain many other humans, young or old._ "

He nodded kindly. It wasn't a lie. It just wasn't who he was meant to be.

"I'm fine with watching it all from down here," he said. "I feel calm here with you, like I've got everything I could hope for."

He looked at her, but Mega-Girl wasn't looking at him. Her gaze was down on herself, her hands in her lap. He reached over and slid his into hers. Thumb stroking her palm, their eyes met again.

"It's a great life we got," he said. "Just you and me. I don't think we gotta think about how others live theirs, do we? We got everything we need right here, darlin'."

Her brow furrowed pensively for a long moment, then relaxed again as her realization came.

" _I think we should purchase a small animal_ ," Mega-Girl declared. " _All the other humans seem to enjoy the presence of certain lesser living forms in their habitations._ "

She had a point. Tootsie had not thought their household needed any enlarging for the present but at her words, he came to think that one small detail would indeed make it even better than it was.

"Can we get a dog? A puppy? Can we get a puppy dog, please?"

" _We will make the transaction at the earliest time possible._ " She paused. Hesitantly, she added, " _I think giving you a canine companion will be very entertaining. And endearing._ "

They got a puppy the next morning. Tootsie marveled at the softness of him, a little ball of fluffy fur in his big hands. They called him Bug, for the best ranger they had known together not too long ago. Tootsie placed their own little Bug into Mega-Girl's arms and felt so much affection rushing to his head at the sight of two adorable things he loved put together. Mega-Girl carried the puppy the rest of the way home.

Raising a dog, they soon realized, was a lot of work, a lot of guidance and constant vigilance. Bug loved to mess with their vegetable patch, to chew on shoes and furniture, to leave poop all over the house, to bark at inappropriate times. He also loved to play fetch, to nap in the rocking chair, to carry home huge sticks that were ten times his size, he loved pets between his ears and slices of watermelon. Mega-Girl had downloaded a guide on puppy raising which she kept referring to whenever an incident happened and, as the days rolled by, the puppy learned.

" _Organic beings truly are capable of great change."_

"And so are you, darlin'. So are you."

They were happy. Tootsie thought they were as happy as they could possibly be.

" _Tootsie Mega-Girl?_ " She asked him one night.

They had celebrated their two months anniversary a few weeks prior and his little recital of simple songs of his own creation had left a great impression. She now made sure to listen to his music whenever he plucked his banjo for fun at night after a day of work. The dog was sleeping between her feet.

"Yeah?"

" _I_ have _achieved maximum happiness._ "

He chuckled. He strummed his banjo a little too loud and the dog perked up, startled, but noting there was no danger in evidence, yawned and close his little puppy eyes again.

"Me too, Mega-Girl," Tootsie replied. "Dead God, me too."


	7. When you don’t have a clue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Legit ignore this chapter if you want, I’m not proud of it I just thought it was cute and funny. Proceed at your own risk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains naughty content, but I left the rating as was because no genitals are involved and therefore nothing explicit (it’s basically non-explicit dry humping). Skip the end of the chapter if you want, or skip the whole thing. ONLY DEAD-GOD CAN JUDGE ME.

The long and languidly busy days of summer drew to an end, every harvest put to good use for sales or for their home. Fall came with a soft breeze, with leaves turning orange or red, crisp under every footstep. The rains were more frequent and as a natural consequence, Tootsie and Mega-Girl spent a lot more time inside together, and often at his family’s house. He had almost forgotten how it was to be around the crowded commotion of his family by the time they came home to their little farm that night. An arm around her waist for the illusion of keeping her warm, he was all cuddles and attentions from the moment they left his mother’s farmhouse to the moment they reached their own.

"It feels like lots, don’t it?" He asked, smiling at her. "That many people at once. It’s like it’s been many years since I lived there, I’m so used to just you and I."

" _One hundred and forty-two days_ ," Mega-Girl said. " _I prefer your sole company to others’ as well._ "

He had not meant to say that exactly, rather he had been talking of a matter of habit more than preference, but as the two coincided in this instance, he did not feel the urge to clarify. He sighed comfortably, closing the door behind them. His mother had given him leftover slices of her beloved family recipe cake which she knew he was fond of and he was assessing if he should leave them for the next day or if he would dare to snack on them tonight. It wasn’t all that late yet. Mega-Girl was brewing herbal tea for him, a routine recently developed as she had noticed Tootsie making for himself a mug with honey every night since the evenings had become a little colder.

"I’ll just have a little bit tonight," he finally decided, grabbing a knife to cut himself a corner and putting the rest away. "Just for somethin’ sweet."

He sat at the table, joined by Mega-Girl after she put down the steaming mug in front of him. The sky was dark outside the windows and the warm light of the kitchen was dimmed for the comfort of his eyes. He smiled.

"Though I got somethin’ sweet already every day here with you," he said.

Mega-Girl smiled back. It felt more and more like she was becoming wholly attuned to all his human ways, like she understood him better and better every day they spent together. Hot tea with just enough honey (which would have been too much for any other person but just right for him), a little bit of cake, a loving wife to spend the last few hours of the evening together, Tootsie was filled with peaceful contentment. There was nothing he could wish for, almost nothing at all.

" _Organic consumption is a source of joy for virtually all humans_ ," Mega-Girl reflected. " _It is a necessity and a pleasure._ "

"That it is," he nodded. "You sure you don’t wanna have a taste? You said you couldn’t, right?"

She was staring at the rapidly shrinking bit of cake and Tootsie broke a small chunk of it he held up for her to try, but she shook her head.

" _Unable to accept the offer_ ," she said. " _Mega-Girls are not equipped with a digestive system._ "

Her face turned into the now well familiar frown, the telltale she was thinking deeply about something likely too smart for him. He liked that about her, how everything surrounding them was an item of reflection and analysis for his clever wife. He was content to take everything as it came, but Mega-Girl never just stopped at what met the eye. Her cogs and gears always perceived one step ahead, always envisioned more.

" _With the adequate material and sufficient time, I would be capable of building such parts and inserting them into the structure of my body_ ," she said eventually. " _But it is more efficient to produce organic compost in larger batches outside of myself, since I do not need the nutrients. Humans have no such option._ "

"Uh huh," he said, smiling. "No cake, then? I can finish it?"

" _You can finish it._ "

He shoved the last bit of cake for the night down his throat and rinsed it down with the herbal tea she had made him, a little too hot yet but deliciously sweet. When he had been in charge of it, he had always eyeballed the amount and type of herbs and dried fruit, of honey he put in it. Mega-Girl had perfected the recipe and it tasted exactly the same every single night. Mega-Girl made everything more reliable.

"’S a shame, though," he said wistfully, "Cause eatin’ ain’t just for feedin’ your body, it also tastes nice and all. I like eatin’ so much, I don’t know if I could stand to just not eat."

Her smile was a little teasing, a little superior. It was beautiful.

" _I don’t possess taste receptors. I can learn to enjoy some human activities but my body has its limitations on the perception of pleasure._ "

Tootsie Mega-Girl paused. He sipped some tea.

"Does it really?" He asked softly.

Mega-Girl nodded, a little confused.

" _Affirmative. Mega-Girls do not have a sense of taste and smell. Touch, sight and hearing were the only senses deemed essential to what we were made to do._ "

He put his hand over hers on the table and felt right under his fingers the metal warmed up by carrying his cup for him, by being inside their cozy little home, and most of all by his touch.

"What about what you _wanna_ do, then? That gives you pleasure?"

She was frowning, but somewhat soothed by his stroking her hand gently. He drank some tea.

" _I enjoy being with you_ ," she said eventually. " _That is what I want. It gives me pleasure._ "

"I’m your husband," Tootsie nodded. "You’re my beautiful, beautiful wife. It’s why we got married, innit? To be with each other."

" _Yes. It is._ "

He put down the cup and traced around the rim nervously, sensing Mega-Girl’s pretty eyes on him and a little shy to face them. He could hear the quiet rustle of wind outside, the howling of barn owls, the low dull rumble of various appliances. They had a good, peaceful life and by most measurements, they wanted for nothing, and yet he was wanting. He was wanting very much.

"Darlin’, I’ve been… erm, I’ve been thinkin’ that maybe, maybe we should go… further."

He squeezed her hand. Mega-Girl looked no less confused. Maybe he liked that a little, if he could be honest with himself. Mega-Girl knew and understood everything logical and tangible, but he was the master of all things romantic − to some extent.

" _I can count_ fourteen _equally probable meanings to your suggestion. Please clarify._ "

His thumb stroked the inside of her palm. She was so pretty, so soft at the core of her soul. Every day, he kept marveling at her cleverness, her beauty, and her capacity to grow and learn and keep her marveling even more.

"It’s just, we been together for half a year now, and I was thinkin’ we should… I mean, I thought we should perhaps do it. Uh, make love, that is. Consume the marriage."

" _Consummate_ ," she corrected. " _Tootsie, that is impossible._ "

He had hoped for her to consider the idea and her flat out rejection made him a little embarrassed. For her sake, he tried to hide a pout but he did not think he did a good job at it, for Mega-Girl cocked her head with compassion.

" _My body is a steel protective shell,_ " she explained kindly. **" _It serves no amorous function._ "

"But I can’t let you say that, Mega-Girl! Your body was made for love the same as any person, the same as mine!"

He clasped her hand tighter, their fingers together. He so loved the feel of it in his, he loved her shiny, shiny hair and the way it framed her beautiful face, how sturdy the plaques of her body, he loved holding her and noting the contrast between them, hard against soft, but how snug they hugged together and it felt like there was nothing different between them after all.

"It’s all the same as any other sort of love, the rest of it. If you don’t wanna, then that’s somethin’, but this ain’t nothin’ you can’t do, you _can_ love and make love the same as me if you wanna."

She was in a deep reflection. The dog rubbed his face against Tootsie Mega-Girl’s legs and she looked down at him as if she had forgotten that there was any other being in the world than her husband.

" _Close intimacy is essential to happiness in marriage. Many married couples have frequent sexual encounters to strengthen their bond._ "

"Yeah. Yeah, but you and I’s all I care about." He looked down at their entwined hands on the table. "D'you wanna... Do you want to give it a try sometimes? Darlin'?"

It took her a little while to calculate her reply. Tootsie was used to that. He was glad for it, even. He had always been the kind of person who lagged behind the rest. If Mega-Girl from time to time slowed down to his leisurely pace, all the best for him. It made up for all the many, many times her calculations beat his weak little brain by a large margin.

" _Yes_ ," she said simply and his heart was light with relief. " _But I don't know how._ "

He wondered if it was the first time he had ever heard her utter those words. When he looked up into her large frightened eyes, the expression was completely new. They smiled at each other timidly.

"That's all fine," he said, "Cause neither do I."

They went to bed that night with a whole new electricity floating in the air. Tootsie found every excuse to delay turning in - brushed his teeth three times, washed his face, checked on the pumpkins, fed the dog, changed into a tank top then back into his night plaid shirt, then back into a tank top - until the nervous anticipation became harder to bear than the actual reason for his fear itself. Mega-Girl, who never fretted and usually fell into bed like a piece in a puzzle, tossed on the pillow twice, three times before, at the fourth, Tootsie scooted closer to her and caught her in his arms.

"Hey," he smiled dumbly as they found themselves side by side, embracing.

Normally, Mega-Girl's arms were sturdy and stiff and never tingled even when Tootsie lay in them for hours at a time. He was supposedly much more fragile but in this instant, he also felt like he had turned to lead and his arm was numb when he wrapped it around her waist.

"Nothin' to be feelin' so nervous about," he said, trying to reassure whichever of them needed it most. "I say that makin' love to your wife that you love is the most natural thing in the world." He kissed her cheek, shy beyond his words. "And I sure love you a lot, Mega-Girl."

" _I love you too, Tootsie Mega-Girl_ ," she croaked in a low rumble that hardly sounded like her usual assertive voice.

Tentatively, he kissed her, because he knew how to do that, because he had done it a hundred times, a thousand times before. She smelled nice. Every five days, she passed her body with oil and that had been yesterday, a familiar scent by now that made him smile.

"You smell real nice," he said, breathing her in to prove his point. "What's it take to make you feel super loved, darling? I'd do anything for you."

" _I don't know_." She was timid but responsive to the deeper kiss he pressed to her lips. " _My body was constructed with no sexual purpose whatsoever. I possess no organs allowing for sexual intercourse. Or any organ at all._ "

"No one's speakin' of racin’ this," he said. "So nobody ain't coursin’ nothin’ sexual here."

She got that same look in her eyes as whenever he said something dim but she said no more. Tootsie, who had never been assigned any task of importance in his life for his lack of brains, was now being given the single most important mission in the universe. He fully intended to see it through and if his brain wasn't enough, his heart would just have to do the work. Leaning up on an elbow, he rolled their bodies so that his was above, staring down at her face in wonder.

"I ain't crushing you, am I? Your body is..." He searched his words and if he was teasing when he spoke, she would just have to forgive it. He knew she liked when he was funny, though usually that was without him meaning to be. "Made to withstand immense pressure or somethin'?"

" _That is correct._ "

He smiled. There was so much more to her than that. Her body might have been designed and manufactured, but it was not doomed to withstand or endure or suffer anything any more than his own, or anybody's. The only thing she was was a thing of beauty and of love and her body was for living and loving and experiencing. Surely, there was more to pleasure than sticking his own thing into something or someone, organs, whatever. If his wife didn't have that, he would love her any way he knew.

"I know you like kissin'," he said. Since when did his voice sound so raspy? He didn't recognize it. "Let's start there."

Tootsie didn't know what materials Mega-Girl was made of, how her sensors worked, how it was that he was able to kiss her and not kill himself with the power that ran through her. He just knew that he could, and so he did.

"You’re so pretty, sweetheart," he whispered in her ear and kissed it − warm metal under his lips.

He felt the tug of Mega-Girl’s fingers at the rim of his tank top and leaned up to pull it off entirely.

" _Your body is very aesthetically pleasing as well_ ," she said. " _The sight of it increases my levels of happiness and pleasure._ "

"Yeah," he sighed, nestling back into her held up arms. "That’s just all I wanna give you, then."

He gave the best of himself. He was dumb and clueless, but he had a heart full of love and desire which imbued him with all the confidence he needed. Mega-Girl didn’t have the same body as a human woman, but he had never touched another woman anyways and he wanted no one else than her, all robot as she was, no matter what her metallic body could or couldn’t do. She could see, so he let her see his smiles, his affection, the promises of eternal love every time he gazed down at her. She could hear, so he paid her all the compliments that came to mind and more, sweets of nothing that meant in that instant absolutely everything. She could touch and be touched, so Tootsie touched her in all the places he could see, everywhere he could think of, closely watching if the caresses were well received. Her body had been constructed stiff and hard, but under his attentions, it didn’t feel that way at all. It felt as soft as any other, warmed up and even hot. It felt pliable, lovable.

"You like that?" He kept asking in soft hushed whispers. "This feel good, darlin’?"

She purred, a low mechanical whirr, music to his ears. He kissed her, kissed her again and again. Under him, her circuits were heating up and Tootsie himself was flushed crimson but he could sense that there was but one way out of this and it was coming much sooner than he was ready for. Their embrace was tight as could be, beyond close and intimate. His hips were rolling into hers in a simile of lovemaking except, in this moment, it felt everything but fake or incomplete. It was as hot and steamy as his hopes and fantasies had been, it was vivid and tangible. It was real. It was perfect.

" _I love you, Tootsie Mega-Girl_ ," Mega-Girl said with all the timidity of a blushing bride.

"And I love you so much too."

It felt like every part of her body was in contact with his and all of it was burning hot. He was trapped in the vice of her embrace and wondered how it was that anyone could ever be afraid of her, or find her anything short of wonderful, when she was so mellow and soft here with him. He kissed her and the way she kissed him back was so special, so loose and crazed he groaned. She was trembling a little around him, which made him check into her eyes if she was alright.

"Mega-Girl?"

But the shaking had nothing to do with unease, nothing at all. Her pleasure solely was at the source of it and Tootsie noticed the bedside lamps start to flicker. At first he thought he was imagining it, maybe from blinking or from the haze, but the circuits in the walls made a low rumble that gave no doubt at all. Soon Mega-Girl’s hidden cogs and gears were loud and lagging a tad and her voice came out a little hectic and unusual.

" _Please do not cease your current endeavor._ "

He smiled into the kiss he gave her, ridiculously flattered by the effect he was having on her. The whole room, perhaps even the house was buzzing with tension and anticipation. An arm above her head protectively, the other hand cupping her face as he kissed her, his stupid body put to good use and showing the love in his heart with every motion. The flicker became less subtle, the lights periodically cutting off for seconds at a time and Mega-Girl let out adorable sighs of contentment, as close to a moan as a beautiful robot could produce.

"Ya feel that, then, sweetheart?" He asked softly. His hand grabbed hers to flatten it against his bare torso and let her feel for herself every hair of his body standing up, his heart racing at impossible speeds. She looked up at him with adoration, her mouth half open. "It’s all you."

He was hot everywhere, overwhelmed, and he knew that Mega-Girl was ten times more so. Electricity was sparking numbly against his skin everywhere they touched, every wall of the room was soon roaring in a thunder.

" _And all of this is you_ ," she said as the lights flashed one last time before giving up.

Mega-Girl tensed up, arching herself into him, kissed him hard and long. Finally, she made a series of funny whizzing sounds that led to her briefly entering sleep mode and for a moment Tootsie was afraid of being caught in a tragic accident, all appliances and lights of the house seemingly cut off. Moonlight made a large blue stripe across her beautiful face. He glanced around, trying not to worry and his relief was immense when Mega-Girl came to after a brief instant. Her hand tore from his touch and slapped the wall and, through her power, it seemed, the house came to life again just like she did and he could see her clear as day under the lights.

" _Thank you, Tootsie_ ," she said and caressed his face lovingly. " _Our marriage was successfully consummated._ "

He broke into a grin and fell into her embrace. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders and he was the one who could have purred now, so glad he was to have pleased her.

"I was afraid for a second, but I could just about die right now, Mega-Girl," he sighed in contentment as he pulled the sheets over his chest and stared at the ceiling, "And I wouldn't even be mad cause I'd die after making love to a beautiful woman." He turned on his side to better look at her. "You've changed me, darlin', and not just because I'm no virgin no more."

The love he was feeling was ever expanding and he was starting to believe his heart would never be big enough to contain it. It would always overflow to be manifest to all. He had never felt more real, more alive, but only because she was too. What did it matter that she had no breath or blood or guts? She talked and felt and loved the same as any other.

Perhaps not _exactly_ the same.

" _Virginity is a baseless concept with no foundation in reality. It is merely a token status adorned by humans prideful in their own flawed and groundless morality._ " Her body whirred softly as she turned to meet his gaze on their shared pillow. " _But thank you. I will enjoy doing this again._ "

He kissed her, the taste of metal, the tingle of the power running her inner workings against his lips, but when he nestled her into his arms and her face was tucked in his shoulder, there was nothing artificial about her. There was everything living and thriving and giving him a desire to live the next day and the next and all the days of his life with her. Their bond, he thought, was more than strengthened. Tonight, it was as solid as the sharpest diamond, as precious too. Tomorrow, it would be even more so, and every next day, and more than ever he realized that it was unbreakable.

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE comment if you've read this and enjoyed it.


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